In this weeks rehearsal, We did some more research into our story and found the last page of Donald's log, including news reports, with interviews with his family after the event, also some information on the Golden Globe race. As i suggested to begin with, however, no one agreed with me to begin with, the rest of the group finally discovered that the idea of narration gave the audience the full story, allowing everything there, without thought.We then experimented by having me, Jess and Gemma and top of the wall, setting the opening scene, then Lewis, playing Donald said a monologue, including the last words written in his log, then committing suicide. We found that this way works out a lot better than the first idea, as it creates enigma on why Donald has jumped off the side of the boat.
When looking at the second scene, we experimented with thought tracking after Donald hears about the Golden Globe Race, i found that the thought tracking was effective, by talking about how he feels about his financial problems, therefore the audience can see why Donald would be considering the competition.
Thanks Jade. Read this back as some of it doesn't make sense - what did you suggest? This first bit is very clumsily expressed.
ReplyDeleteYou should consider whether or not showing his suicide gives too much away at the beginning - is it better to end the opening scene BEFORE he kills himself, so this can be revealed later? And - his body was never found so can you (should you?) decide you can say definitively that he committed suicide?
Again, you are not being clear in the way you are describing and commenting on your work - clear written communication is the most important aspect of both the remaining units in Y13 so you must think about this more carefully and take care to write acurately, clearly and concisely.